My Feelings On Porn, As Expressed by Mr. Dudely Porn-Right Himself

Confession: I’m addicted to watching really bad porn. I don’t mean the sort which are intended to be bad; I love the unintentional, the B movie porn, if you will. Keep in mind, this is coupled with the fact that porn sickens me in its debasing treatment of women. I’m a little contradictory (or hypocritical, if you prefer) in that way, I will admit. Now, on to the point.

I was on efukt.com today, browsing through the newly posted videos, and I found one entitled “RARE: Girl Actually Cums on Facial Abuse”. (I’ll admit that it took me a moment to decipher what the title of the video actually meant; I was not aware of the Facial Abuse website prior to a quick Google search after viewing the video. I would not recommend a visit to that website if you wish to keep your dignity.) I’m sincerely hopeful that everyone is with me right now in noticing that, within the title itself, we’ve already come across the most major problem in porn – despite many self-convincing arguments to the contrary by Nice Guys, porn is not for, by, nor about women. Women are not expected to actually enjoy themselves (and, as we’ll see shortly, are not intended at all to enjoy themselves) during porn. This was most eloquently stated by Twisty Faster recently on her blog, I Blame the Patriarchy  when she stated that, “Sex can never be a politically neutral interaction as long as the interests of one party are by universal decree prioritized over the interests of the other.” To be clear, porn/sex can never truly be mutual, so long as the interests of men are prioritized, e.g. degrading porn scenes in which no enjoyment by a woman can possibly be taken, but from which nevertheless many a man has cum.

Shortly after my tirade about the title of this video, I click the ‘play’ button anyway, silently berating myself on my masochistic choice. (I will never understand my insatiable curiosity for anything that holds the possibility of shaming, hurting, or scaring me.) The video begins with a proud proclamation that out of 474 women taped for the website, not 1 has orgasmed. Immediately following the misogynistic frat-boy back-slapping parade comes the slew of insults that is apparently common for these types of videos; these are insults about the woman’s body or demeanor, which are most likely intended to bring forth a spew of laughter, beer, and quite possibly semen from their adoring followers. The viewer is then barraged with clips of the various abusive techniques employed at Facial Abuse for the humiliation of this poor woman for your enjoyment. Soon, it begins to become abundantly clear that their intended effect (the degradation and humiliation of this woman, who is most likely in a desperate situation the likes of which most people can not possibly begin to fathom, that has forced her to succumb to the lure of the porn industry) has been turned on its axis in the woman’s favor; in the duration of the copulation, she was actually enjoying herself! And that just won’t do for the men at FA. The woman is immediately taken aside, slapped in the face a few times, and asked, “What the fuck just happened? You’re not supposed to enjoy this shit.”

I’ll let you have a moment in order for that to sink in.

Are you ready?

Yes, my friends, the men over at Facial Abuse have done all of us forward-thinking folks a huge favor; they have literally admitted that women are not supposed to enjoy porn (or sex, if you’d like to stretch it that far), and the fact that a woman has actually gotten off to these acts, with their men, on their video tape, is not only far-fetched and scary, but actually disgusting to them. It ruins their website’s sanctuary, no longer truly making it a place where men can go to watch women get abused and hurt and used solely for a man’s enjoyment. It’s no longer a man’s world if a woman is taking the liberty to enjoy herself in it.

These type of men are incapable of thinking of women as human beings who are allowed to enjoy themselves during a MUTUAL expression of passion. That’s why the myth that women don’t enjoy sex was propagated, to cover up for the fact that sex within the confines of love and care and mutual desire, something that a lot of men cannot endorse, allows for a woman to enjoy herself. And we all know that simply can’t happen; it’s not real sex if a man’s orgasm isn’t at the forefront.

(Take a second here to ask yourself: when is the last time that you thought a woman was orgasming on porn? I promise you, it’s not during the endless moans, which was probably the first thing that popped into your head. If you don’t believe me, think back to the last time your partner orgasmed – did it sound like that? So, if it’s not happening at the one moment that you thought for sure that it was, when did it happen? Secondly, I ask you: is there a female equivalent to the money-shot?)

All in all, that’s why porn exists. Men have to fake a woman’s enjoyment; they have to try very hard to make themselves look not so entirely selfish in their desires. Men like to pretend that they aren’t getting off on the abuse of women, “Look, she likes it! Hear how she moans!” Nobody wants to be labeled a sexist, selfish pig. This truth needs to be hidden deep down, beneath the recesses of the The Great Porn Vault, behind the porn movie parodies but next to the mythical snuff films. How else will they get women to allow themselves to become their sperm receptacles?

I’m sure at this point you’re wondering why I would watch something that I find so vile? I honestly have no defense. I enjoy laughing at the odd moments in porn, the bloopers, the fights. I do not enjoy typical porn (included in this definition are the often reprehensible hentai drawings/anime, 95% of which include tentacle rape or incest – Oh, Japan. How I wish that I didn’t lack the energy to take you on in a blog post.); I can’t stop laughing or criticizing it long enough to ever think of getting off to it. I would much prefer to endorse websites such as this that celebrate women’s sexuality and pleasure.

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